Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

Given my coffee affliction, I figured I'd post a challenge out here for everyone to contribute. Please post your replies as a comment to this blog post.

Here's the challenge: Write a Haiku centered around two things:
1: Coffee, of course
2: Your particular favorite brand of coffee.

A haiku is a three line poem, with 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables (respectively)

Here's an example:

I must have coffee. (5 syllables)
Has anyone tried Dancing Goats? (7 syllables)
If not, you need to! (5 syllables)

Let's see what you can come up with. The better ones will be published on here, facebook and twitter. Who knows, maybe we can get some of these coffee companies to take notice! :D

Thanks, and enjoy!

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

Okay, so here's the situation.

We've got both Comcast Business and Comcast Residential service here at our home.

We're one month shy of two years into a three year Comcast Business account for internet services.

We're one month shy of two years for Comcast telephone and television. Our two year Comcast telephone contract is up next month (thank GOD. It's extremely overpriced!)

Every 4-6 months, we get calls from Comcast's Business team, asking us to switch our phone and TV services over them. Each time, I give them the phone number for our residential side and ask them to pull up that account. Each time they apologize profusely and say they'll put a note on our account to indicate that we've got all services with Comcast.

Seriously?!

How hard would it be for Comcast's left hand (Business) to take a few minutes to see what the right hand (Residential) is doing? We had some confusion in the past when we had both accounts listed under the same phone number, so we switched the contact number for the business side over to my cell phone and left the residential side on our house number.

I've worked at multiple companies where residential customers peacefully coexisted with business customers, and had absolutely no issues with clearly delineating the differences between the two. Why is it that Comcast can't do the same?

Come on, guys... get your stuff together. This is getting old... fast.

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

As I sit here, thinking about the next chapter (and career) of my life, my mind is racing with emotions. I've spent the last five and a half years of my life, 100% devoted to the customers and the company. When you dedicated 1/8th of your life to a company, it's bound to be hard to not be emotional.

I've learned a lot of wonderful things and was extremely fortunate to be under the tutelage of perhaps the best boss I've ever worked for, to date... and I've had some pretty awesome bosses. Had some crappy ones, too, but I'm not going to dwell on them. :)

Something one of my (soon to be ex) coworkers just said via IMs is poignant and worth sharing:

[16:09] Solar - Alex: i believe one should leave things behind with a smile..no regrets

Alex is 100% correct about this. There's some things I wish I could have done better at Solar, but you know what? I really don't have any regrets. With the team that I had to work with, I'm pretty proud of my part of the contributions to the company's insane success over the past few years. While I have some apprehension about some of the future plans of Solar/Fortress/DNow, I also have faith that the right people being put into the right positions will do a fantastic job of helping the company grow, and that the customers will be taken care of properly.

I've got a huge amount of love for the company, which is why this was a very tough decision to leave them/change careers. With all of the solid friendships that have been forged (both customers and fellow co-workers), it's going to be hard not getting up and logging into all the various systems to do what I do best: Build Relationships.

I know that in the next chapter of my life, being able to do what I am passionate about (taking care of the people that choose to spend their hard earned money with you) is going to be an absolute requirement. I've got over 20 years experience in working with people, both in person and online, and it's one thing I absolutely love doing. It's a shame that some of the newer people in our professions haven't embraced that concept quite as deeply as they need to.

I digress, I'm getting off topic here. Through all the trials and tribulations that this company has gone through in the last five years, I've had the honor of working with some of the best damned people the Hosting industry has to offer. I can only hope that my next chosen career path is fortunate enough to have coworkers that are just as good as what I've been blessed to work with.

Life is too short to consistently dwell on the negative and all of the associated stresses that come with it. With these changes, I'm hoping to grow into a positive state of zen and to be at peace with this next step. My cousin Chris was very instrumental in opening my eyes to a lot of things on my recent trip to California. He is, emotionally and mentally, where I want to be in two years and is a very inspirational guy. Mad love and respect to him for opening my eyes. :D

I will probably be blogging quite a bit over the next few months, and may even compile an eBook or two. I'm also hoping I can land a job at one of four dream companies I'm *very* interested in working with, though I have a fifth company that I want to help out with to get him to be a powerhouse in terms of where he is and where he can be (Bakery).

Dream jobs:
#1: Working for Batdorf & Bronson, owners of Dancing Goat (my most favorite coffee in the world) as an East Coast Outside Sales rep. Follow them on Twitter via @BatdorfCoffee, @DancingGoats and @DancingGoatsATL

#2: Working for ScoutMOB.com as a Sales rep or maybe even a Sales Manager. I can bring a LOT to them, especially with a few good connections that I've got. Truly original concept and very unique approach, especially compared to some of their competitors. Follow them on Twitter via @ScoutMOB

#3: Working for HomeGrown Restaurants, owners of Doc Cheys and Osteria 832, hopefully as IT/Social Networking/Marketing. Good food, great employees, unique concept for customers. Follow them on Twitter via @DocCheys

#4: Working for ZipCar.com as a customer support supervisor or in Marketing/Social Networking. I can honestly say they've made a *lot* of money off us over the past few years... would love to get some of it back, haha! Great company, FANTASTIC customer service. Follow them on Twitter via @ZipCar and @ZipCarATL

I've been a HUGE advocate for the three of the four companies above (recently became an advocate for the fourth) ... and to have a chance to work for one of them would be phenominal! I love the concepts behind ALL of the companies above.

The fifth company is obviously Cakes By Coco. Ever since my wife told me about this bakery, I've been addicted. Good cakes by a GREAT guy. He's not always had an easy go, so I'd love to be able to see what I can do to help him get to that next level. Plus... I'd have a chance to help him launch a coffee bar, maybe (guess which coffee I'm gonna try to get going, haha!). Definitely would be a fantastic experience. You can follow him on twitter, as well, via @CakesByCoco.

And of course, I'm going to do whatever I have to do to help my wife grow HER business, NiaMassage. Hoping that eventually I will be able to work for her, full time. And yes, you can follow her on Twitter, as well, via @NiaMassage

And yes, I still have the itch to get into Sports Radio as a host or co-host covering Collegiate sports. :D

As I get ready for the next chapter in my life, it'll be interesting to see what path I ultimately end up going and how things shake out from there. What I can definitively say is that with my 40th birthday coming up, it's time to focus on a new career path that can tolerate my quirkiness. :D

Thanks for reading!

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

Heya, everyone! Hope your Monday has been treating you well. :)

As I get ready to jump into the next chapter of my life at the end of next week, which will also include a career change, I started thinking about a couple situations that occurred (one a few years back involving Craig Cannon (from KFSM in Fort Smith, AR) and one that happened last year with Ched "UglyUncle" Carpenter, Brandon Hartung and myself during a live radio broadcast) that basically threw the news/sports cast for a curveball.

Sometime in late 2007, Craig Cannon (see his KHBS/KHOG/4029TV.com profile here) had to endure an embarrassing incident while doing a newscast live:

In October of last year, Ched (@uglyuncle), Brandon (@BrandonHartung) and I were doing The UglyUncle Show when we were interrupted by the station manager who informed us that the drug store across the parking lot (approx 100 feet away) had a reported explosive device and that the Springdale PD was evacuating our building (See this link for the full story). Suffice to say that threw a wrench into what we were discussing.

Let's not forget the infamous streaking incidents that appear frequently:
[youtube]hT1iqvQN0Ho[/youtube]
[youtube]m61sIrpMbOo[/youtube]

So my question to all of you is this: When presented with a situation that completely takes you away from the story you're working on, how the heck do you recover from that to finish your sequence with a straight face? How do you keep your sanity with all of this?

I'm sure you've all come across these arcane situations all the time. ::laughs::

(By the way: Is there any room for a Razorback Fan on Radio in this Dawg/YellowJacket/Panthers market?! Been told I have the perfect face for Radio. :D)

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

They've got all of this technology and money, and yet they come out with a marketing campaign like this?

What the heck were they thinking?!
(Credit/Blame goes to my good friend, McD at FTX)

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN 2010 SOMETIME.

I've been asked time and time again how I'm able to move a huge site and have DNS fully propagated within 15 minutes after I make the necessary changes to the A records (Changing from A.B.C.D IP over to W.X.Y.Z IP address). I'm going to turn you onto a nifty little trick that I use to help speed up the process.

About a week before the actual site/server move, I change all of the DNS Time to Lives (TTLs) down to 300 - 900 seconds (5 to 15 minutes). This means that as soon as I change the IPs for the website(s) involved, literally within 15 minutes, the world is seeing the site live on the new servers.

Generally, I run both the old location and the new location side by side, with all of the database stuff in various scripts on the old location actually using the databases on the new location (I also turn off file uploading) for at least 3 days. Once a good majority of the visitors see the site on the new location (I help them with this by putting a "NEW" image up on the new location site to help identify which location they're looking at), I then safely shut down the old location and re-enable uploading.

If you're hosting DNS on your own VPS, there are steps that you can take to quickly change everything. The steps below cover cPanel DNS services, though it might work for DirectAdmin, as long as the naming conventions and directories are the same.

Log in as root
CD /var/named
perl -pi.bak -e "s/14400/900/g" *.db

Restart Named.

---------------

By doing these changes in advance, this will greatly speed up the overall time for the migration project. One of our team members have been able to move a huge site (MySQL DB alone was 2.5 gigs) in literally 3 hours and have everyone see the site on the new server using the methodologies outlined above.

Instructions for Linux based Plesk can be found at URL COMING SOON!

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

After watching the cesspool known as Elimination Chamber and subsequent Monday Night Raw last night, I have to put my thoughts out there.

I am sorry that I wasted $45.00 on the Elimination Chamber PPV and 1.5 hours of my time on RAW last night. The WWE is in a *major* downwards spiral, and no one seems to give a damn enough to do something about it.

Fire ALL of the storyline writers. Yes, even Stephanie McMahon-Levesque. We're seeing boring old storylines that make no sense, and in some cases, even rehashed ones (Taker vs HHH? Seriously?)

The WWE's gotten so bad that I barely even watch Smackdown anymore. We all know how bad Friday Night TV lineups are, yet I still manage to find something that's far more fun to watch than the drivel being spewed on Friday Nights. How sad is that?

I'm about as big of a Taker mark as there is around there... and will mark out for Haich when he's not pulling back stage politics.

I do agree that if the WWE wants to do this right, they SHOULD do Taker vs Barrett and Haich vs Sheamus. I do know that Haich is very high on Sheamus (they are training partners on the road) and that Barrett would be one hell of a monster heel or face, if put into a long term feud with the right person (Taker could be it, but I'm not sure that Barrett should be the one to end the streak).

I have a feeling that the person that Taker drops his streak to isn't even in the WWE yet (Don't be surprised if it's someone from this year's Tough Enough).

I agree with the notion that Cena needs to go back to bein' a heel and lose the PG crap act.

Kennedy would have been a HUGE main eventer, had he not screwed up his chances time and time again.

Drew MacIntyre is slowly growing on me. He's got the PERFECT look (though not quite the physique) to be a huge baby face or monster heel.

As much as I can't stand CM Punk, he's getting over very nicely as a heel. Nexus needs to continue to have a dominant role as a heel faction... and grow to about 8-10 members (Nation of Domination, anyone?) and have EVERY freakin' title at the same time. This would push the group over as a legitimate threat to anyone.

I'm not big on Orton (a lot of back stage politics due to being a 3rd gen wrestler and too many injuries), but he's over big time with the fans... need to keep pushing him for the next 1-2 years.

Oh, and don't even get me started about Michael Cole or this pusillanimous "Anonymous Raw General Manager" storyline. Both are doomed for complete utter catastrophic failure. Unless you're able to bring someone back that was extremely loved/hated, the Raw GM storyline is going to blow right back up in your face. I have a couple ideas as to who the WWE could use for the person behing the A.R.G.M., however, I doubt that the WWE would do whatever it took to make it happen.

As far as Michael Cole is concerned, better than Gordon Solie? JR? Please. And what was up with him trying to tout his "journalist skills"? It's "journalistic skills", imbecile... learn how to cut a promo right, please. That was embarrassing to watch.

WWE needs to move away from its PG leanings and get back to what made them the edgy bastards they are.

Again, not having any real competition (I'm sorry, I cannot count TNA as competition) and bringing back a bunch of washed up has beens (Nash and as much as I like the guy, Booker T) is not conducive to the WWE being an industry leader.

WWE, shame on you for putting out this product. I've had enough... and I'm going to speak with my wallet. I may be but one person, however, imagine if that one person suddenly becomes 10 people, and those 10 become 100. How much of a financial hit are you guys going to have to take before you start realizing what an inferior product yuo're foisting onto your long term fans?

Wake up and smell the crap you're cooking, WWE.

It stinks.

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN EARLY 2011

You won't see me doing very many rants, since I want to try to keep my blog on the helpful/humorous side, but this is freakin' insane.

We (the company I work for, Solar VPS, LLC) just got an order in. I did my usual anti-fraud checking to make sure the order was legitimate... going through the usual stuff, the order checked out absolutely fine. I noticed the person didn't use a coupon code. Okay, no big deal, not everyone remembers to use one, so I figure that I'll get it applied manually for 'em, cause I'm such a nice guy and all. ;)

I then noticed that they had a domain registration, as well. Umm, okay... not really a big deal, but based on past experiences with anti-fraud reviews, this is now giving me a little bit of a paulse.

I go in and start digging around, in depth and noticed that the domain used for the VPS order is owned/registered by someone in Europe (the order indicated a US address/person). The domain used for the domain registration was a different domain, previously registered but released to the public recently for re-registration. Hmmm... better see what's going on.

I ask the potential customer to provide the first six digits of the CC and a scanned copy of a governmental issued ID. After a couple tries, I got the digits (matched up fine). After three more tries... I got an attachment that I was expecting to see a driver's license or a passport. Newp. It was someone's voter registration card. I then look at the credit card info, and see that someone else's name is on there, and not the person who signed up.

Uhh... okay... now I'm suspicious. I do a bit of digging around to see what info I can find about the person whose name is on the CC. This person's got a fairly unusual name, and is the only person in that state with that name (verified by three different tracking sites that are publicly available to anyone). Great... so I know that the address info doesn't match up, let's call her to find out if her CC's being used legitimately.

I call her, and she immediately brushes me off "Not interested, please don't call me again". Lady, I'm not calling to sell Avon... I'm calling to try to do my part to help YOU combat identity theft or CC abuse. She then proceeded to tell me "Well, I'm protected with identity theft stuff" and again tries to blow me off again... until I tell her that I'm looking at a scanned copy of her voter registration card. I rattle off the address I see... she still denies that it's her, but I can tell she's definitely concerned now (sensed a difference in how she was responding). She hurried me up off the phone.

Look... I have no problem digging in and doing research to ensure that Solar VPS is doing its part to help fight fraud. But dammit, don't automatically assume that when someone calls you that it's going to be a sales call. There could be someone that's genuinely interested in helping YOU protect your own credit. Don't hurry someone off the call if they're trying to do their part and making sure that YOUR CC doesn't get charged.

I will continue to fight the good fight, but come on, people... work with us. There's others like me that want to do our part to not only protect the companies we work for, but help protect you. ::sighs::

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

Okay, this video went viral like crazy after it hit the Internet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzNhaLUT520

I'm sure that we ALL remember when the Parody song came out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bemhZYsM8f8

Well... someone done did it again. A friend of mine on IRC (gee, THANKS, unixorn!) copied and pasted a parody of the parody song... the catch? It's written in GEEK SPEAK! Absolutely BRILLIANT!

FULL credit for this goes to "iCEBaLM" from /. (SlashDot) and AfterSlash
http://slashdot.org/~iCEBaLM
http://alterslash.org/#FBI_Alleged_To_Have_Backdoored_OpenBSD_s_IPSEC_Stack

'Deys combin' through ur net-dumps,
'Deys snatchin ur packets up,
Tryin' ta read 'em so y'all need ta,
Hide yo' keys, hide yo' crypts,
Hide yo' keys, hide yo' crypts,
Hide yo' keys, hide yo' crypts,
An' hide yo' passwords cause they backdoorin' everybody out here.

You don't have to come an' confess, we lookin' for you,
We gon find you,
We gon find you.
So we can run and check DAT,
Run and check DAT,
Run and check DAT,
Homeboy, home-home, homeboy.

We got your source code and you left timestamps and all,
You are so dumb,
You are really dumb, fo' real.
I was attacked by the NSA on black projects.
So dumb, so dumb, so dumb, so.

'Deys combin' through ur net-dumps,
'Deys snatchin ur packets up,
Tryin' ta read 'em so y'all need ta,
Hide yo' keys, hide yo' crypts,
Hide yo' keys, hide yo' crypts,
Hide yo' keys, hide yo' crypts,
An' hide yo' passwords cause they backdoorin' everybody out here.

You don't have to come an' confess, we lookin' for you,
We gon find you,
We gon find you.
So we can run and check DAT,
Run and check DAT,
Run and check DAT,
Homeboy, home-home, homeboy.

Posted by Douglas, @BearlyDougTweet

Anyone that knows me real well would tell you how much I can't stand the inane musings of a pusillanimous mental midget. I was searching around Google to come up with an appropriate anti-Mensa designation for these people. Apparently, the PC term is "Densa".

As I did some further scanning on the Google results, I came across the DensaSpeak DIKSHUNARY.

FULL credit and source goes to http://www.angelfire.com/oh3/densa/densaspeak.html

---

addy n. Email address.

afflatus: n. Brain fart [origin: ArleneM & MsLois

Afterning n. The time of day between afternoon and evening when things get a little slow. As in "Good afterning. Anyone out here?" [origin: Graybeard50]

burp n. A repeated posting in a meeting place of Densa Members. -v. To post a message repeatedly in a meeting place.

confoozed adj. Confused, or the normal Densa condition.

Cuckoo's Nest n. Alternative name for a Mind Game's meeting place. [origin: Gzorn.]

dead duck n. An ill eagle that has been shot down. See ill eagle below. [origin: Daddyo.]

Deedles n. Original Mind Games champion and history buff extraordinaire. He will be missed.

Densa n. Opposite of Mensa. [For Mensa, see below.]

Densa cap n. A cap awarded for displaying true Densa qualities and decorated with tassels, stars, feathers and the like.

Densa Society n. The antithesis of Mensa Society. [origin: Jon]

Densan n. A member of the Densa Society. [origin: ChrisB.]

densanility n. A condition afflicting some of the more senior Densa. [origin: Gzorn.]

DOL abbr. No, not Dirty Old Lady. Discovery Online, our addictor.

Drat & Stink! phrase A euphemistic expression or mild oath used by Densans who prefer to not use actual cuss words, and voiced to express displeasure in any unpleasant or distasteful event or situation. [origin: OldLadySin.]

EFS: n. acronym Eleven Finger Syndrome. Evidenced by frequent misspellings and/or misplacement of characters while posting in the DOL lounges. [origin: Shlewis and/or Franci.]

E word phrase. The phrase indicates a 4-letter word that is never, ever to be used in the Lounges. phonetic: EZ [origin: Gzorn.]

emu n. Email message. - v. To send an email message. [origin: AuntieOz.]

Happy Burpday phr. A greeting meaning "Happy Birthday." [derived from burp -- see above. origin: Gzorn.]

hiccup n., v. See burp.

hopely adv. Short for hopefully. [Easier for Densans to spell. origin: AllPro.]

ill eagle n. An unauthorized confirmation of an answer or a guess to a question in the Mind Games from a player who has been confirmed by DOL. [origin: Feisty.]

inbetweenbies n.Those players who have played 3 to 5 games. [origin: lotsmonk.]

jugz n. pl. The containers for Purple Burples and the Recipe.

Longagobies n. Those who played the games and visited the Lounges long ago, but have been absent and suddenly reappear. [origin: Gzorn.]

Lounge Lizard n. A denizen of the DOL meeting places.

lurker n. One who reads the postings in the meeting places, but does not actually post messages.

MDV (Martian Death Virus) phrase The mysterious viral infection that can be transmitted cyberly through the Lounges, makes one very ill and can be contracted more than once. Previously unknown, this disease strikes only Densans, their phamilies, phriends and acquaintances. [origin: Mamamoose.]

Mensa Society n. Who knows? Who cares?

MsLois Syndrome n. A highly contagious condition that seems to happen to MsLois often. The lounge is full and people are posting. Suddenly, after a MsLois post, it goes quiet. [origin: MsLois.]

newbie n. A newcomer to the Mind Games and the meeting places.

nonlogability v. The inability to log in to and post in the lounges. For example - Adly wants to thank each of you for your help and support during her time of nonlogability. [origin: Nawojcik.]

Nut House n. See Cuckoo's Nest.

olbie n. A veteran of the Mind Games.

Otto Sweep n. The guy who's s'posed to sweep the Lounges each night at 01:00 ET. [origin: Gzorn.]

Oxters n. Celtic for armpits, as "I'm up to my oxters in these cloos." [origin: Kendra.]

Phatty Phingers: n. The mythical secretary, first hired by Latino, who takes over many keyboards on the pretext of being a better typist, but who generally proves to be more inept than the keyboard owner. [origin: Latino.]

Phunny Pharm n. See Nut House.

Pulling a Nawo phrase The act of repeatedly popping back into a lounge to respond to comments after you have posted a "goodbye" or "gotta go" or such. [origin: Nawookie.]

puter also pooter n. Short for computer.

recipe n. A mysterious liquid mixture of secret ingredients, mixed with squished purples to make Purple Burples (said to be based on old socks). [origin: Snoopy.]

roolz n. Densa for rules, as in "the roolz of the game." - v. Densa for governs, as in "Densa Roolz!"

scrool v. Scroll. To move up, down, laterally or diagonally on a page. (Only Densans can scrool diagonally.) [origin: Gzorn.]

shh room n. Densa designation for the Secret Meeting Places for those who have solved the identity of the Mystery Guest.

shrivelence adj. Describing a posting that when being composed seems entirely relevant to a subject at hand, but by the time of posting, has shriveleled in relevance. [origin: Mohaim.]

slowpid adj. Contraction of slow and stupid. [origin: Latino.]

slooth v. Densa for sleuth, to search for an answer. - n. A Densan who sleuths. [origin: Gzorn.]

Snoopy n. Dedicated, loyal Mind Games player, and kind soul. Originator of the Recipe and inspiration for the Snoopy Dance. Snoopy added joy and gentleness to the Mind Games conversations. She will be missed.

Snoopy dance n. A victory dance, performed a la Snoopy the "Peanuts" dog, by gyrating wildly, arms at the sides, nose pointed skyward. [origin: ChrisB.]

T & P abbr. Abbreviation for Thoughts and Prayers.

TDWMNBN acronym The Day Which Must Not Be Named. The first business day of the week, whose name must not be posted in the Densaville Forums. The mere mention of this word is thought to bring about dire, sinister or tragic occurrences. aka: DWNN, the M-word [origin: Witchy]

typoist n. One who types, but is Densanitely not a typist. [origin: Gzorn.]

urly adv. The opposite of late, among sloothers on the net. [origin: Gzorn.]

Webbie n. Short for WebTV users. [origin: Alice.]

Witch Whack phrase The banishment to cyber-space of any post/message in Main Street that is posted after the whack warning is given by Witchy. Administered by Witchy as she swoops down over Densaville on her Electrolux. [origin: Witchy]